Please, Wear Your Mask


The Hamilton County Health Department posted this graphic to easily illustrate the effectiveness of wearing a mask to limit transmission of COVID-19 to others. Looks pretty simple, right? Yet some insist on politicizing this proven public health strategy. Masking up is the very least we can do to keep all of us safe during the you know – pandemic.

I work in a school library and have been happily working all summer in schools without air conditioning while wearing my 3-ply paper mask for eight hours at a time. My two lovely co-workers also wear their masks to protect me and their susceptible loved ones at home. I can breathe just fine and my only regret is that I could have been a brain surgeon with my innate ability to mask-up for multiple hours at a time.

Anyway, to solve the anti-mask movement mystery, I turned to one of the great organizers of information, Mr. Melvil Dewey and the Dewey Decimal System in search of fact over fiction for survival of the fittest during this lifelike dystopian novel.

Most of the anti-masker excuses seem rather obtuse which according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary (Language 400’s) means: lacking sharpness or quickness of sensibility or intellect: insensitive, stupid or difficult to comprehend: not clear or precise in thought or expression.

One such anti-masker excuse, “God’s Will” perplexed me so I referenced the category of Religion in the 200’s. Aren’t we supposed to love our neighbor and honour thy father and thy mother? My parents, Madame Sandra and Sir Chuck are another reason I mask up.

So what about politics and all the social causes, choices and liberties that are perceived at stake by masking up and drive us as a people to migrate towards certain political parties? (Social Science 300’s) My life, liberty and pursuit of happiness is certainly at stake if you are a carrier and choose to do nothing to protect those around you – like me, a slightly chubby, middle aged mom who may cruise through if infected, but with the randomness of the severity of COVID, who the hell really knows?!

If you don’t believe me, march yourself down to natural and applied Sciences in the 500’s and 600’s. There are plenty of facts and figures to back up the fact that wearing a mask can slow the spread. And if you are saying to yourself right now, please spare us your liberal love, I am a registered Republican. To quote rapper, Cardi B, “I’m the queen of talkin’ shit and backing it up,” (Music, 700’s).

So, perhaps it’s best not to listen to fascist, demagogues with a ten-word vocabulary (History, 900’s) and don’t consider your political party a team that you cannot cheer against (Sports, 700’s) to make a small, simple contribution to the greater good by preventing our world from becoming a Shakespearean tragedy (800’s).

The Hamilton County Health Department posted this graphic to easily illustrate the effectiveness of wearing a mask to limit transmission of COVID-19 to others. Looks pretty simple, right? Yet some insist on politicizing this proven public health strategy. Masking up is the very least we can do to keep all of us safe during the you know – pandemic.

I work in a school library and have been happily working all summer in schools without air conditioning while wearing my 3-ply paper mask for eight hours at a time. My two lovely co-workers also wear their masks to protect me and their susceptible loved ones at home. I can breathe just fine and my only regret is that I could have been a brain surgeon with my innate ability to mask-up for multiple hours at a time.

Anyway, to solve the anti-mask movement mystery, I turned to one of the great organizers of information, Mr. Melville Dewey and the Dewey Decimal System in search of fact over fiction for survival of the fittest during this lifelike dystopian novel.

Most of the anti-masker excuses seem rather obtuse which according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary (Language 400’s) means: lacking sharpness or quickness of sensibility or intellect: insensitive, stupid or difficult to comprehend: not clear or precise in thought or expression.

One such anti-masker excuse, “God’s Will” perplexed me so I referenced the category of Religion in the 200’s. Aren’t we supposed to love our neighbor and honour thy father and thy mother? My parents, Madame Sandra and Sir Chuck are another reason I mask up.

So what about politics and all the social causes, choices and liberties that are perceived at stake by masking up and drive us as a people to migrate towards certain political parties? (Social Science 300’s) My life, liberty and pursuit of happiness is certainly at stake if you are a carrier and choose to do nothing to protect those around you – like me, a slightly chubby, middle aged mom who may cruise through if infected, but with the randomness of the severity of COVID, who the hell really knows?!

If you don’t believe me, march yourself down to natural and applied Sciences in the 500’s and 600’s. There are plenty of facts and figures to back up the fact that wearing a mask can slow the spread. And if you are saying to yourself right now, please spare us your liberal love, I am a registered Republican. To quote rapper, Cardi B, “I’m the queen of talkin’ shit and backing it up,” (Music, 700’s).

So, perhaps it’s best not to listen to fascist, demagogues with a ten-word vocabulary (History, 900’s) and don’t consider your political party a team that you cannot cheer against (Sports, 700’s) to make a small, simple contribution to the greater good by preventing our world from becoming a Shakespearean tragedy (800’s).

People, please just wear a mask.

6 thoughts on “Please, Wear Your Mask

  1. LOVE this! I, too, keep hoping that if all the world is a stage, we are playing out a comedy, not a tragedy. Too bad we couldn’t have rehearsed…
    🙂

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