You can’t have just two nuts.
And salty Lays? Bring them on.
Who can refuse a late night Pirate’s Booty call?
And Mega Oreos? What’s the saying, “Once you go Mega, you never go back.”
For years, it was just me and my pantry. My pantry was always happy to see me after a hard day at work.
“Here, have some carbs,” he would say. Carbs are like a great big hug.
And my pantry, he doesn’t care if I have Dorito breath or crumbs on my shirt.
He’s always there. Doors open wide.
If only breaking up were as chipper as a Neil Sedaka song.
And as women, why are we always attracted to the bad guys? In this case, bad guys with salty snacks.
I have to admit, I’m quite drawn to the Cuties. I like to run my hands through his leafy greens.
He’s so polite, always offering me a drink.
His inner light shines through, unlike my ex, the pantry, who was dark and dreary.
Will it be the last time I’m played for a fool?
I may look at the pantry and drool, but the refrigerator, he’s pretty cool.
Do you have a dieting story? Good. Submit it pronto to Publishing Syndicate’s Not Your Mother’s Book…On Dieting of which I am one of the Co-Creators. Publishing Syndicate pays for stories, unlike a lot of anthologies. There are some very funny stories that have already been submitted for consideration. Join in the fun and tell all your friends who are great story tellers. Let’s laugh ourselves skinny!