Breaking Up With My Pantry Is Hard to Do and Story Submission Call Out

talking fridgeI’m trying to break up with my pantry.  It’s hard.  It’s really hard to do.

You can’t have just two nuts.

And salty Lays?  Bring them on.

Who can refuse a late night Pirate’s Booty call?

And Mega Oreos?  What’s the saying, “Once you go Mega, you never go back.”

For years, it was just me and my pantry.  My pantry was always happy to see me after a hard day at work.

“Here, have some carbs,” he would say.  Carbs are like a great big hug.

And my pantry, he doesn’t care if I have Dorito breath or crumbs on my shirt.

He’s always there.  Doors open wide.

If only breaking up were as chipper as a Neil Sedaka song.

And as women, why are we always attracted to the bad guys?  In this case, bad guys with salty snacks.

smiling veggiesThe refrigerator has been flirting with me lately.

I have to admit, I’m quite drawn to the Cuties.  I like to run my hands through his leafy greens.

He’s so polite, always offering me a drink.

His inner light shines through, unlike my ex, the pantry, who was dark and dreary.

Will it be the last time I’m played for a fool?

I may look at the pantry and drool, but the refrigerator, he’s pretty cool.

Do you have a dieting story?  Good.  Submit it pronto to Publishing Syndicate’s Not Your Mother’s Book…On Dieting of which I am one of the Co-Creators.  Publishing Syndicate pays for stories, unlike a lot of anthologies.  There are some very funny stories that have already been submitted for consideration.  Join in the fun and tell all your friends who are great story tellers.  Let’s laugh ourselves skinny!


14 thoughts on “Breaking Up With My Pantry Is Hard to Do and Story Submission Call Out

  1. Could not be more true… And the pantry is right next to the bread box, perfect for sandwich making. Peanut butter sandwich with Cheetos on the side??? Mmm.
    I shouldn’t have read this while juice cleansing! Even the gross Quiznos commercial are tempting me.

  2. I don’t know what it is. But, I have two bad boys that keep me coming back for more. One is oh so sweet. Sometimes he amps up the prize with little nuggets of chocolate, butterscotch or raisins. The second, must be related to yours. He tag-teams with my number one bad boy. After sugar lips leaves, he offers salted, crunchy utopia. He usually appears after the kids and hubby go to bed at night. I feel especially attracted to him when I’m watching my favorite guilty pleasure television shows. Be on the look out for a diet replay from my youth for your book. It was a family affair.

  3. I hate that he calls & you run to him. Notice how it’s always HIS place and you only see each other behind closed doors? Well, OK, I wasn’t going to tell you this, but………he is seeing other people.

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