In fact, it was a lifestyle.
We spent hours in front of our Magnavox Technicolor television that was tucked inside a sturdy oak cabinet and watched the likes of Mike Douglas, Dinah Shore, Johnny Carson, Merv Griffin, Bob Braun and Paul Dixon.
What talk show fan didn’t dream of someday sitting on the couch while Burt Reynolds made a surprise appearance on Dinah’s show or to witness Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon act out their popular Carnac the Magnificent bit?
As luck would have it, the press release for Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being A Woman (as mentioned in my recent post, Can This Eager Beaver Still Win The Pulitzer?) caught the eye of a producer from local talk show Indy Style, resulting in an invitation for this Eager Beaver to be a guest.
Yeah! My childhood fantasy came true!
Yikes! How can I loose 50 pounds, have my teeth whitened and develop a perky personality in less than two weeks?
I invested in some NASA-engineered shape wear, chomped endlessly on whitening gum and brought my mother along – kind of a perky-personality-stunt-double, if you will.
As we sat in the “green room” waiting to be called onto the set, the host did a teaser introduction warning viewers that half the titles in the book were not appropriate to be read on the air.
At that very moment another “green room” guest, the fun-loving Sancho, from Man of La Mancha shot an evil look in my direction.
Hey, lighten up Sancho! Can’t you see I’m living the Impossible Dream!
So that’s two strikes for the Network Sensors (“Honey, You’re a Fat Ass” and “Vajazzle My What?”) out of three stories I contributed, leaving, “W-The Other Scarlet Letter” for on-air discussion.
Oh the irony of successfully avoiding friends tagging unflattering photos of me on Facebook for years in an effort to hide my midlife weight gain, only to out myself as a shopper of Women’s clothing in front of thousands on television. Not that the “chin-cam” gave my secret away or anything.
The biggest on-air surprise for me was the shock of seeing myself on-camera and listening to my own voice.
The biggest off-air surprise was receiving a text from Shirley Partridge saying that she wants her black velvet jacket back.
All-in-all, the interview was a big success for promoting the book.
And those Facebook friends I’ve been hiding from for years, came out in droves to show their support for my involvement in the book – even the lurkers joined in.
In the words of talk show hosts everywhere, “Good Night Everybody and thanks for watching!”
© 2012, Terri Spilman