The Weaning Baby Doll – A Logical Counterpart To The Breast Milk Baby

In case you haven’t heard, the latest baby doll rage for the holiday season is The Breast Milk Baby by Berjuan Toys.

The Breast Milk Baby is an actual doll that simulates breastfeeding by suckling on plastic rose petals attached to a cute little top worn by the child.

It’s hard to take the concept seriously after watching Andy Samberg of Saturday Night Live fame demonstrating how the doll works on The Today Show (as witnessed while watching my daily fix of Kathie Lee and Hoda before my talk show time was seriously cut-back after I went back to work).

However, I do think the concept is pretty clever for spreading the good word about the healthful benefits of breastfeeding and breaking down barriers to the social stigma of breastfeeding in public.

God knows, half the country witnessed me whipping out the ol’ milk bags on plane rides, in restaurants, museums and just about anyplace that has no privacy for nursing mothers – which is just about everywhere.

At some point – sooner (your baby won’t cooperate) or later (when the child can pull out your breast themselves and say, “I’m thirsty”)- all this bonding, good nutrition and mega cash savings from not having to buy formula – must come to an end.

Hence the need to invent The Weaning Baby to better prepare gals for the physical and emotional effects of weaning their little breast feeder.

When you wean, no one bothers to tell you your bajumbas will turn into rocks and your baby is left with no clue about how to sooth themselves!

No more surprises with The Weaning Baby.  The Weaning Baby comes with an extremely stretched out bra filled with bricks, pain pills and an assortment of “lovies” to sooth the crying baby.  And, it comes with a free set of ear plugs to muffle the loud screaming, which forced you breastfeed for so long in the first place.

WARNING:  You may want to return The Breast Milk Baby after playing with The Weaning Baby.

It’s only natural.

Just try to remember that the benefits of breastfeeding far outweigh the bricks!

© 2012, Terri Spilman

38 thoughts on “The Weaning Baby Doll – A Logical Counterpart To The Breast Milk Baby

  1. GOOD ONE. Does it come with a gift certificate for cabbage leaves (a reputed way to reduce milk )? And the biography of the wacky dame who decided to try that one day?

  2. It has ALWAYS struck me as strange that when girls are little ( warning generalization here) all they seem to do or want to do is play with dolls, especially baby dolls, that is basically like training them to be a mother, and telling them kinda that having a kid is what society expects from them, and yet, when they are old enough ( biologically anyway) to actually have sex, get pregnant and have said baby, sex becomes this evil thing that society says they should not have and a baby ( a that age) is seen as a social stigma of a slut instead of a good logical conclusion to what said little girl has been spending her childhood days preparing for.

    And this, well it kinda just adds fuel to the fire.

  3. Toys that simulate pregnancy, breastfeeding, peeing or anything else that involves the wet and squishy side of the human body always put me off at first. I never got the appeal as a child, but I’m not really opposed to them, either. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a child role-playing parenthood… I just don’t know why they’d want to : P But then, I’m a teacher of four year olds, and if there’s one thing those kids love, it is to be given HOMEWORK, because homework is something big kids get. Maybe it’s just that- even if it’s not entirely appealing, it is one of the trappings of being bigger, so bring on the stretched out bras!

  4. This is funny!

    My wife breastfed our son and is now a La Leche League leader helping out local moms who want to do the same for their wee ones. Here’s a shout-out to all Breastfeeding moms from a guy who thinks its a beautiful, natural thing and society should get over it!

    As to dolls, well, I had no idea there was a Breast-Fed Baby. I guess if it sets some kind of positive standard (that Breastfeeding is good and natural and not an “uncivilized” thing that marks a kept woman), then as awkward as it may feel I say go for it.

    Genius idea, a Weaning Baby Doll. And congrats on FP! Cheers!

  5. As a girl, I had a Tiny Tears and a Betsy Wetsy (I still have them, actually). They came with a tiny little plastic bottle that you’d fill with water and then put into their little open mouths and they’d either cry or pee it out (into a tiny little diaper)! I played with those dolls for years and loved them – however, neither one prepared me for the ‘joys’ of real crying, peeing babies 20+ years later (and I don’t think they were meant to). I don’t believe that playing with dolls is a bad thing for little girls to do (the nurturing instinct is, after all, a natural one) but I definitely believe toy makers have gone too far with the whole ‘realism’ factor (none of which is actually real). I cringe whenever I see this sort of doll (not to mention the battery-operated-just-about-everything – even for preschoolers). Girls should just be allowed to PLAY with their dolls – they shouldn’t be infused with ‘learning experiences’ or ‘politically correct’ messages (you don’t see trucks that come with 18 gear transmission systems or cars with built-in breathalyzers, do you)? Toys are supposed to encourage a child to use his/her imagination – let’s not spoil that by injecting too much (false) reality.

  6. “The benefits of breastfeeding far outweigh the bricks!” had me laughing out loud! Funny, funny post and and my congratulations on being Freshly Pressed as well!

  7. I agree – I think the doll is kind of cool. I mean, it’s not mainstream, but when you think about it, it’s weird that every single girl that plays with a doll ever always bottle feeds her. It’s like that’s the ‘normal’ thing. I guess any kid could pretend to breastfeed (i’m sure many do that see mom doing it) without needing the shirt, but if it comes with the bottle, they’ll probably just do that.

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