Can This Eager Beaver Still Win The Pulitzer?

Wow!  It took almost 50 years, but it really happened.

Three of my essays were published in a new entertainment anthology series created by former Chicken Soup for the Soul coauthors/editors, Dahlynn and Ken McKowen.

Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being A Woman is a collection of hip, entertaining, enlightening and motivating contributions featuring “edgy” real-life stories on a variety of subjects relating to women.

My 15 minutes of fame clock started ticking when the press release was dropped this week with the headline:

“Local Author’s Stories Featured in Not Your Mother’s Book . . . On Being a Woman…”

It is a dizzying experience to see your words in print and your name plastered on a press release.

Finally, a stepping-stone to receiving The Pulitzer Prize, a prestigious award given for excellence in journalism.

In my mind, I was on my way to being enshrined in commentary history, perhaps next to one of my idols, the eloquent Anna Quindlen.

That is, until I read the descriptions of my story titles in the press release.

Story Title: Honey, You’re a Fat Ass

Summary:  Terri’s family “suggests” she go to Weight Watcher’s, in the most loving way they can.

O.K., maybe Anna never used the term, “Fat Ass” in any of her commentaries.  However, fatty interventions are quite vogue in the current era of over-eaters being equated to recreational drug users.

My family is paving the way to good health through honesty by kicking a girl in her W-sized britches when her mouth is full.

Who doesn’t feel comforted when a loved one says, “How did the cans hold up?” after an excruciatingly painful circuit training session that involved jump-roping and jogging in place.

Do they make steel-padded sports bras?

I don’t know, but I do know that the next story summary may have me banned from the Pulitzer for life.

Story Title: Vajazzle My What?

Summary:  Vajazzling: applying sequins onto muskrats. Some call a muskrat a beaver. On a woman. Seriously.

The last time I heard the term, “beaver” used in this reference, was during the 1972 movie, “This Is Elvis,” when the king missed a NASA rocket launch because he “was buried in a beaver.”

I innocently leaned over in the movie theater and asked my mother, “What’s a beaver?”

She promptly shot back, “It’s a fur coat.”

Great, community newspaper audiences throughout the Hoosier state will get the impression that there’s a Daniel Boone-like coonskin hat south of the equator.

Are my 15 minutes of fame over yet?

Who knows?  Perhaps uncovering the definition of the term “Vajazzle” may just move my work from the Pulitzer Commentary category to Investigative Journalism.

So Anna, don’t pull the wool over my eyes.  Can this eager beaver still win the Pulitzer?

I’m guessing not without a pen name.

Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being A Woman is available on in paperback and eBook format for Kindle.

© 2012 Terri Spilman

26 thoughts on “Can This Eager Beaver Still Win The Pulitzer?

  1. Congratulations on the publication…and on having a family that loves you enough to support you through weight loss. Please tell me this book is in Kindle too, because it sounds like a winner!

  2. All these years, you never dreamed it would be your beaver or your ass that would make you famous. The twists & turns of life sure are something! This is a fantastic way to ease into the world of literary fame. Next book will be all you…wait…not all you, as in all your body parts…I mean 100% written by you.

  3. Congratulations! I am beyond thrilled for you! As the very first blogger I have ever followed, imagine my delight on hearing of your publication. Putting you on my book club selection list.
    Have a Skinny Cow on me tonight!

    • Thanks Karen! I regret not sharing your story about the silly bands from heaven. I didn’t know what I was doing either! I wish I would have had a skinny cow on you, instead I celebrated with pizza – story of my life. Thanks for being such a loyal and enthusiastic reader!

  4. This is the reason I’m asking Santa for a Kindle this Christmas! I just want to go on Amazon and download this book ASAP. Sigh. Congratulations on getting your stories published! 🙂

  5. I am so proud of you! This is fantastic news! I bought the book on my Kindle and I’ll start it tonight. Email me when you win that Pulitzer. I’ll fly out for the home town party afterward. 🙂

    • That’s so nice of you to buy the book! You should submit some of your stories. The publisher is great and so are the other contributors.

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