Wow! It took almost 50 years, but it really happened.
Three of my essays were published in a new entertainment anthology series created by former Chicken Soup for the Soul coauthors/editors, Dahlynn and Ken McKowen.
Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being A Woman is a collection of hip, entertaining, enlightening and motivating contributions featuring “edgy” real-life stories on a variety of subjects relating to women.
My 15 minutes of fame clock started ticking when the press release was dropped this week with the headline:
“Local Author’s Stories Featured in Not Your Mother’s Book . . . On Being a Woman…”
It is a dizzying experience to see your words in print and your name plastered on a press release.
Finally, a stepping-stone to receiving The Pulitzer Prize, a prestigious award given for excellence in journalism.
In my mind, I was on my way to being enshrined in commentary history, perhaps next to one of my idols, the eloquent Anna Quindlen.
That is, until I read the descriptions of my story titles in the press release.
Story Title: Honey, You’re a Fat Ass
Summary: Terri’s family “suggests” she go to Weight Watcher’s, in the most loving way they can.
O.K., maybe Anna never used the term, “Fat Ass” in any of her commentaries. However, fatty interventions are quite vogue in the current era of over-eaters being equated to recreational drug users.
My family is paving the way to good health through honesty by kicking a girl in her W-sized britches when her mouth is full.
Who doesn’t feel comforted when a loved one says, “How did the cans hold up?” after an excruciatingly painful circuit training session that involved jump-roping and jogging in place.
Do they make steel-padded sports bras?
I don’t know, but I do know that the next story summary may have me banned from the Pulitzer for life.
Story Title: Vajazzle My What?
Summary: Vajazzling: applying sequins onto muskrats. Some call a muskrat a beaver. On a woman. Seriously.
The last time I heard the term, “beaver” used in this reference, was during the 1972 movie, “This Is Elvis,” when the king missed a NASA rocket launch because he “was buried in a beaver.”
I innocently leaned over in the movie theater and asked my mother, “What’s a beaver?”
She promptly shot back, “It’s a fur coat.”
Great, community newspaper audiences throughout the Hoosier state will get the impression that there’s a Daniel Boone-like coonskin hat south of the equator.
Are my 15 minutes of fame over yet?
Who knows? Perhaps uncovering the definition of the term “Vajazzle” may just move my work from the Pulitzer Commentary category to Investigative Journalism.
So Anna, don’t pull the wool over my eyes. Can this eager beaver still win the Pulitzer?
I’m guessing not without a pen name.
Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being A Woman is available on Amazon.com in paperback and eBook format for Kindle.
© 2012 Terri Spilman