To Bang, Or Not To Bang?


To bang, or not to bang?

It sounds like a slogan from a teen abstinence program.

Rather, it’s a question I ask myself every time I get my hair cut.

Throughout my life, I’ve had some type of bangs.

At times, I’ve looked like Mo from The Three Stooges.

Other times, I’ve looked like Olivia Newton-John’s perky virginal character Sandy, in the movie Grease.

Banging takes on a whole different meaning when you’re pushing 50 years-of-age.

For the past several years, I’ve enjoyed letting a little skin show.

I like to think of choosing not to bang, as maturing with confidence by channeling my inner Blythe Danner.

My mother would describe it as exposing my alien forehead.

My not to bang streak came to a screeching halt last week when Today Show newscaster, Natalie Morales unveiled her new do complete with a set of full-on bangs.

She looked adorable.  I thought, I want to look like that!

And, after one week back in Chubby Lady Class, I’m on my way.

As an update to A Weighty Challenge, I lost three pounds last week.

I’m feeling a little feisty because in my mind, I’m starting to see my collar-bone again.

So feisty, I want to bang.

Only I can’t wait.  I want that youthful gratification now.

So, I decided to bang myself.

With a twist, and a clip of the shears, I closed my eyes only to open them to Alf – the Sci Fi puppet from the 80’s television show of the same name – staring back at me in the mirror.

My do-it-yourself bang technique originally gleaned from a 1978 Glamour Magazine didn’t quite work as well as it did in high school.

My husband is excited because if I can bang myself, it will save him thousands of dollars at the salon.

I on the other hand, am not too proud to admit that banging is better left to the professionals.

© 2012 Terri Spilman

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17 thoughts on “To Bang, Or Not To Bang?

  1. With a catchy comment prompt like this, how can I refuse? I, too, consider a revisit of a bang on hair do but look through old photo snaps, including some fading Polaroids, and I kinda get the # Stooges look. LOL So my hair do remains as dated as stale buns, a favourite updo which suited my teacherly composure. But yet – to be banged again?

  2. Take my word for it, if you cave, leave it to the professionals. You can’t tape it back on! Having to go to a work function looking like Mo can make you feel like a real idiot. Love updos. Don’t cave!

  3. You forgot the biggest benefit: Bangs are the thrifty gal’s botox! Another thrifty move that would please the Mister…snatch up some clip-on faux bangs and trim those haircut expenses even more.

  4. Haha, I was the one with the dirty mind when I read your title!

    I haven’t had bangs for about 15 years and I’m not sure I’d go for them again. I think it all depends on your face’s shape and the size of your forehead. I prefer my hair wrapped around my face and nothing tickling my forehead.

    By the way, no picture of your bangs?

  5. “To bang or not to bang!” I was howling from just the title. I’ve always had bangs and can’t trust myself to bang myself. Banging’s not so hard, the remorse the morning after is what’s hard 😉

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