“I actually made a chandelier out of my gallstones, IV tubing and some hospital socks, but you don’t really want to see that….” –Miss Mustard Seed on getting her gallbladder removed.
Ever feel like you need a “happy pill” to calm your nerves after a hard day at work, going six-rounds with the kids and wondering where your better-half put the better? If so, skip the pills and treat yourself to a soothing read from a Do It Yourself (DIY) Home Decor Blogger.
Scrolling through these online works of art is as relaxing as taking a warm lavender-scented bath. And, if the bathroom is owned by one of these gals, it’s likely newly renovated with a huge antique farmhouse tub, glass tile back splash and custom-mixed Annie Sloan paint on the walls.
Their weekly posts are filled with prose detailing the perfect accessory they’ve stumbled upon at a bargain basement price.
Handy spouses named Mr. Fantastic gladly spend their weekends knocking down walls or whipping up a knockoff upholstered bench similar to an expensive one profiled in House Beautiful.
Their children’s rooms are whimsically decorated, spotless oasis-like retreats. Toys and crafts are perfectly organized and out of sight in playrooms.
And parties? It wouldn’t be a DIY blog without a weekly linky party to show off new projects and share how-to’s.
These bloggers are well-versed in their craft and ultra-decisive about finishes that would take most novice decorators months to even figure out the terminology and trends, much less make a cogent decision about which faucet to put in an out-of-date half-bath.
Just as foodies have cravings after reading a favorite chef’s blog, wanna-be designers have an uncontrollable urge to pick up a paint brush after reading a design blog and being seduced by the beautiful photography.
I was finally motivated to start a do-it-yourself project of my own – painting my guest room.
Farsighted guests will think a professional painted the room, while nearsighted guests will be onto my lack of proper technique and failure to use a canvas drop cloth prior to starting.
And some may comment on my wonderful sponging technique. Little do they know that the paint patterns were left by my ass cheeks because I did not move the bed far away from the wall and painted myself into a corner.
After day three of painting, my family had not eaten a decent meal since the project began, my daughter was screaming, “I’m bored” every five minutes and I still had not finished the room.
Where was my Mr. Fantastic to help me finish? Instead, my Mr. Television Remote Control authorized an emergency phone call to a professional painter friend to finish my DIY project.
Most of these DIY bloggers are stay-at-home moms. I always wonder…
What are the children doing while the moms are knee-deep in stripping an antique dresser from the local flea market?
Why don’t they complain about their pets scooting their butts across the carpet on a daily basis like mine does?
Where are all the toys and years of accumulated crap hidden? Why don’t they have twenty empty bottles of shampoo in the shower?
Can their family actually use the display towels in the bathroom without soiling a single one?
Where are the cat fights and decorator envy that is inevitable when a large group of women get together?
Only they know the real answers to these questions. That’s part of the mystique and charm.
Afterall, DIY blog goddesses are human too. Even Miss Mustard Seed gets gallstones.
And only Miss Mustard Seed could turn an ordinary hospital room into the extraordinary.
© 2012 Terri Spilman