Unless you live under a rock, you’ve probably heard that entertainers, Beyoncé and Jay-Z had their baby last week. In honor of the special occasion, Jay-Z has already written a song for their baby girl, Blue Ivy.
The lyrics are a hybrid of Braham’s Lullaby, Joe Cocker and Eminem songs. I’m obviously very uncool and don’t have a great understanding of rap music. However, after reading the lyrics I picked up the emotional power of seeing your newborn baby for the first time and I can definitely empathize with their struggle to have a child. I’ll need to reference rapgenius.com to pick up the meaning of the rest of the song.
I thought it would be fun to come up with my own birth rap song. Don’t judge. I know it screams, “Honkie”. Since I don’t know any Rap music, just slap your leg in a rythmic fashion as you say the words. Wait, that sounds like country. I don’t know country music either so just read it like a poem. A really bad poem.
Girl Power – From Dusty Egg To Desert Flower
Under the desert sky, I said it was birthday lov’in.
He said it was a sympathy F$%#.
But hey, we got a bun in the oven.
“Yo, yo – I finally shook a dusty egg loose!”
My ol’ man said to me.
We’re gonna expand our family tree!
The rents were all with glee.
A Baby Boy, the Doc said we will see.
The nausea, the naps.
“Hey Bitch, cut the crap!”
“Your hormones are soar’in.”
“Quit your roar’in.”
Sleep’in at my desk.
Eating for two is my quest.
Can’t even cram a foot in my shoe.
When the hell am I due?
One month early was my doctor’s guess.
We need a name quick.
Ben, Charlie, Patrick?
What if there’s an off-chance she’s a chick?
The room’s painted blue.
Got a million things to do.
The day finally arrives.
The denial, the fear.
All I want is a big beer.
I’m starting to tear.
Strapped on the table.
There’s no turning back.
I hope my surgeon is not a hack.
My heart’s in a whirl.
He pulls the baby out.
And, it’s a girl!
From Dusty Egg to Desert Flower,
Do you care – or should I say, dare – to leave a few verses of your own birth rap song?
© 2012 Terri Spilman