Eat Like A Bird

Eat Like A Bird

In an attempt to drive home a message to its members that, “if you eat like a bird, you will lose weight”, the Weight Watchers in my town is apparently co-branding with Wild Birds Unlimited.   It’s actually a brilliant move. 

Co-branding is the original “two heads are better than one” marketing strategy.  Nathan’s Hot Dogs paired with Bruster’s Ice Cream and Taco Bell housed with Pizza Hut are just a few of the many restaurants that capitalize on each other’s brand image to get your business.  

It’s been one year since my mother told me I was a fat ass and “sponsored” a membership to Weight Watchers for me (read the post, “I Love You, You’re A Fat Ass if you need to get caught up).  We dutifully attended meetings for a year.  Yes, progress was made.  I blogged about my weight loss for a while but eventually became bored when I hit a plateau (that’s a fancy word for, “I couldn’t stop eating bags of potato chips while standing in my pantry”).  So hence, the blogging stopped.  And I’m embarrassed to admit, so did my attendance at the meetings.  I don’t like the term “dropout”.  I prefer to label it as “taking a break”.  Although, most would say, “cop-out”.

Speaking of cops, the Weight Watcher’s police, a.k.a. our leader has resorted to stalking me.  She wrote a note on one of those poster-sized, pieces of paper in front of the entire class and gave it to my mother for delivery.  My daughter asked me why grandma was giving me a note and I told her, “Our leader still thinks mommy is fat and wants me to go back to chubby lady class.”  I do feel bad for breaking up the Judds (that’s how my mother and I refer to ourselves in class), but I need to do my own thing for a while.  And hey, the real Judds got back together eventually, so you never know when I may rejoin.  Especially with the new weight-loss opportunities this new co-branding venture with Wild Birds Unlimited may create.

Eating like a bird is really what dieting is all about.  What better reminder to send those struggling with portion control.  I wonder if they will start selling some co-branded snacks like low sodium salt licks, nutrasweetened nectar, low fat peanut butter and jelly suet along with single sized servings of nut and seed packets.  The possibilities for high-fiber, bulk bin snack products are endless.  Lose weight while helping the environment.  What could feel better?

The bird watching could actually spin-off into a new hobby – chubby chasing.  Yes, chubby chasing will be an official sport.  Red Cheeked Robin, Big Ass Bluebird, Wide-ended Wren.  Hey, take a look at the gunt on that little Gannet?  I’d probably fit into the Menopot Mallard species.  I can visualize the poster now. 

There is even a Birdfeeder cam on the Wild Birds web site.  Why not make it a pantry or refrigerator cam?  The mortification of being broadcast on the internet while eating your entire lunch out of the refrigerator with the door wide open is enough to actually drive you to take a seat at the table. 

As the saying goes, “birds of a feather flock together”.  Re-uping my membership is already sounding appealing just writing this blog post.  I bet I can even get a discount on chia seeds, which is the latest high-fiber recommendation from Weight Watchers.  Although, even with the discount and potential health benefits these seeds bring to the digestional tract, I just can’t eat them.  I have a phobia of (use a whisper) shitting out a Bart Simpson head –  sssshhhh

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The Fat Ass Chronicles


6 thoughts on “Eat Like A Bird

  1. Teri – love the snack ideas. Yesterday, I had a “healthy” lunch that consisted of a couple cider mill doughnuts and a McFlurry. I don’t believe in deprivation.

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