What In The Hell Do You Do All Day?

“What in the hell do you do all day?” 

It’s the number one question stay-at-home moms get asked.  I could bore you with details of my time being filled with household cleaning, errand running, volunteering, or fulfilling the need for “just me” time.

However, the truth is, I really don’t know what in the hell I do all day.  There, I said it.

If you are sick and tired of people (meaning your husband) asking you, “What in the hell do you do all day?” use these responses straight from the corporate world to shut them the hell up:

  1. “What in the hell do you do all day?”  Answer a question with a question.  Nothing gets someone’s blood boiling more than to turn the tables.  For example, ask to see a call sheet if your husband is in sales or ask to speak to one of his nurses if he’s a doctor.
  2. “I posted for a new position.”  What bigger turn on to a husband than to get him excited about having additional income.  Take a few minutes from reading mom blogs to pull up monster.com a few times in case he’s snooping in the browser history.
  3. “I read some trade magazines.”   If you want to sharpen your skills, you gotta read up.  Cooking Light, Better Homes and Gardens, Real Simple and Martha Stewart Living are essential reads to educate yourself on housewife duties, while simultaneously doing nothing.  If you throw Cosmopolitan into the mix, just beware that you may be asked to demonstrate what you’ve learned in the token, “How To Please Your Man” article.
  4. “I had an all day retreat.”  He doesn’t have to know you were at the mall all day.  Just make sure you pick a place in your closet where he never looks to hide the shopping bags.
  5. “I spent my entire day on the phone.”  This answer can serve double-duty when he asks you how many times your mother called during the day.

And the best answer to the question, “What in the hell do you do all day?”

None of your darn business!



10 thoughts on “What In The Hell Do You Do All Day?

  1. Seriously, Terri, I was going to blog about this in my next post! This question drives me up the wall. I’ll contribute an answer #7: “Well, I didn’t get an hour-long lunch break, I can tell you that much.” Perhaps the most obnoxious part is that when I do start to answer, the questioner tends to start tuning out. I suppose I could just stop feeling so defensive about it. Not likely.

    – Sarah

  2. Write your post. I’m curious about your responses. I like one of your first posts about telling Randy about Lucy and Ethel’s escapades and he thinks you are nuts. Only someone who stays home can appreciate that conversation – and Lucy!

  3. What did I do today? Did you mean before or after I fed x-amount of children breakfast, then snack, then lunch, then snack again; dressed and bathed children; vacumned up cheerios from the crevices of the couch, dvd player and along the window ledge; pottied the kids; sang the alphabet song 16 times; corralled the brood in the grocery store for 27 LONG minutes, while we stopped for 4 boxes of macaroni and cheese and a gallon of milk; pottied kids again; attempted to down a piece of dry toast, but was interrupted by the wailing of the 3 year old that had her cow-cow taken away by the 5 year old and thrown into the fishtank and when I got back to my now-empty plate, and the dog lie suspiciously in the corner, peeking at me out of one one paw-covered eye; sang the “clean up” song 23 times; took children for some “outside fresh air” (got them OUT of the house so they stopped making MORE things for me to clean up); did I say that I pottied the kids yet?? (again) ; washed hands and faces umpteen times; vaccumned the house; washed dishes; washed, dryed and folded 3 loads of laundry; made macaroni necklaces; counted “to 3” 47 times; and started your delicious dinner preparation……. no NO, honey. I don’t know WHAT I did over the last 8 hours.

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