“Surprise, Surprise” (to quote Gomer Pyle). Another public figure has been caught emailing inappropriate pictures of their franks and beans to an “acquaintance” that is not their spouse. The play once known as “The Favre” (named after retired NFL Quarterback Brett Favre) can now be referred to as “The Weiner” named after the New York Congressman who is the most recent political figure to get caught up in such a scandle.
Before anyone else snaps a picture below the belt, pushes the SEND button, clogs up our airwaves with the typical press conferences filled with excuses and denials followed by the eventual tearful confession, I’ll let you in on a little secret.
Women love packages. Only we’re not talking about the ones stuffed with a tube sock then wrapped in drab, gray Fruit of the Looms. We’re talking robin’s egg blue packages wrapped in white satin ribbon full of jewels (not “family jewels”), known as “The Tiffany.” Shiny Silver boxes wrapped in matching silver Grosgrain ribbon, known as “The Nordstrom.” Long, skinny white boxes tied with a bright red bow, known as “The FTD.” Do you see where this is going?
To most women, dating the Total Package means something completely different from being Tweeted a picture of a cotton-wrapped Kielbasa. The Total Package (known as “The TP”) is a mate who is intelligent, warm, funny and successful. These days, using good judgement on when and if they should express their “desires” via social media is also a plus.
So anyone out there who is thinking about pulling “The Weiner” to impress a gal, please remember that most women prefer thoughtful packages from the heart, not from your hard drive.