The media and quite frankly, the general public can’t get enough of the Royal Wedding. After all, it’s not everyday a girl gets to marry a prince. As I watch the media frenzy, I can’t help but wonder – what would the headline be for my own wedding?
So I asked my husband this theoretical question.
He said, “That’s easy. The Pixie and The Prince.” In honor of my new pixie hairdo as revealed in my last blog post.
I was thinking the headlines may read something like this:
“Prince Fries Face in Bachelor Party Golf Outing with Buddies – Aunt Applies Cover-Up To Save Pictures”
“Mother of the Bride Falls During Rehearsal – Bridesmaid Scoops Her Up”
“What A Couple of Putts – Who Gets Married On A Golf Course?”
“Wow, Look At Those Wedding Knockers – Corset or Implants?”
“Ring Bearer Naps Before Ceremony And Refuses To Walk Down Aisle”
I also fear a picture of my dad sneaking out to buy Imodium on the morning of the wedding would appear in the tabloids. Or maybe an interview with Dr. Sanjay Gupta on the Piers Morgan show that may go something like this:
P.M. “I understand the bride’s father was spotted at the drug store purchasing some type of stomach pill. Can you tell us what might be wrong?”
S.G. “Yes Piers, it seems the bride has some sort of nervous stomach. (S.G. puts up a diagram of my colon) It could just be pre-wedding jitters or a side-effect of eating too much Kashi to try to shed a few more pounds so she could fit into her dress.”
In all seriousness, I think I would probably pick this for my headline:
“Whirlwind Romance Ends In Beautiful Nuptials. And, They Are Living Happily Ever After. As Long As She Puts Out And He Brings Home A Paycheck.”
What would the headline be for your wedding?