News Bulletin: The Laughing Mom Almost Places 5th in Writing Contest

 “America’s Funniest Humor!” Writing Contest sent me the following sample press release to alert the media that my story, “Be-steele My Heart” received recognition as a Finalist in their August/September Humor Showcase.  I don’t know if 20 or 200 people entered the contest so I have no context for almost placing 5th and being awarded a whopping $20 prize.  So, I’ve filled in the blanks and I am thinking about sending the press release to the Associated Press for use on a slow news day or if they get tired of running stories about world affairs, politics, global warming or Branjolina.


[To:] Associated Press or Anyone Who Gives A Damn 
[Subject:]  (Name Here-The Laughing Mom) (Wins 1st/2nd/3rd/4th/5th Place) (Is Named A Finalist) (Is Named A Semi-Finalist) (Earns An Honorable Mention) In‘s “America’s Funniest Humor!” Writing Contest.
(Name Here-The Laughing Mom), a writer from (Location-Suburbia), (is the 1st/2nd/3rd/4th/5th-Place winner) (was named a Finalist) (was named a Semi-Finalist) (earned an Honorable Mention) in the most recent “America’s Funniest Humor!” Writing Contest held by

For (his) (her-last time I checked) accomplishment, (Last Name-The Laughing Mom) (has earned publication in‘s online humor showcase translated:  has earned JACK SHIT) (has earned $100/$70/$35/$25/$20 in prize money, plus publication in‘s online humor showcase). (His) (Her) entry, “Column Title Here”Be-steele My Heart,” is about (brief summary here, no more than one or two sentences) Column?  She wishes it was a column.  More like a whiney rant on a Mom Blog about not knowing what in the hell to get her husband for their anniversary.

“Column Title Here”Be-steele My Heartwill be featured in the current showcase through mid-December 2010, after which new results from the bi-monthly contest will be posted.  Of which she will probably enter and throw away another ten bucks because she has a contest-monkey on her back.

Other writing awards and recognitions earned by (Last Name-The Laughing Mom) include (list other significant writing accomplishments in one or two sentences) two more non-winning entries into America’s Funniest Humor! Writing Contest, “Is The Male Robin The Perfect Baby Daddy?” (Finalist) and “Dogzilla” (Honorable Mention) both featured in the June/July Showcase. is one of the Internet’s highest-ranking humor contest sites, with opportunities for writers specializing in humor and those with real-life humorous anecdotes to share.  HumorPress also sucks writers into re-entering the contest every two months by naming several Finalists, Semi-Finalists and Honorable Mentions.  Only worse addiction is playing Keno during breakfast in Las Vegas.  Only Keno is more profitable.  Don’t bother contacting anyone unless you have a rather large book deal or are willing to cough up some prize money.  Oh ya, and she is deeply honored to almost place 5th in the writing contest. 
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