Spring has sprung. Mother nature never fails to put on a spectacular show in our backyard featuring fragrant lilacs, light violet clematis, purple Irises and bright red roses all flanked by a lush carpet of bright green grass. However, the real star of the show is always the Robin feathering her nest for her new brood. This year, the Robin chose a beautiful pink flowered tree beneath our bathroom window for her birthing center. We literally have a bird’s-eye view of the three baby birds tucked in their nursery made of sticks and mud. I am totally obsessed with watching their every move and I began to wonder, “Is the male Robin a perfect baby daddy?”
Benefit #1: Winters in Florida. No more shoveling snow, just hanging out with the gang down south during the coldest months of the year.
Benefit #2: Male Robins want their women big. Yes, Robins are chubby chasers. Imagine, actually getting to pig out while dating. It’s no longer a fantasy. The male Robin feeds the female while courting. This brings a whole new meaning to the term, “eating like a bird”. Bring it on!
Benefit #3: Male Robins have a full head of hair. The male Robin grows a black plumage of feathers on top of his head during courtship. A natural Rogaine.
Benefit #4: Male Robins are monogamous. Male Robins are loyal throughout the courtship. It’s not likely you’ll hear one of them saying, “Look at the breast on that one!” in front of their betrothed.
Benefit #5: Simple And Short Mating Technique. Translated, I can keep my man happy and still watch my Real Housewives shows, catch the weather on the late news and get through the huge magazine stash on my nightstand while barely having to move.
Benefit #6: Male Robins like their jobs. Male Robins sing from morning into evening. No more war stories and crankiness after Ward gets home. Everyday would be like a musical.
Benefit #7: Female Robins have total control over the nest. Once the deed is done, the female Robin takes over the nesting process in preparation for arrival of the eggs. No bickering over paint colors, window coverings, area rugs or furnishings. It’s like an open charge account at Arhaus Furniture.
Benefit #8: No nasty after effects of pregnancy. Robins lay beautiful Tiffany blue colored eggs of which the babies emerge with no mess. The female Robin even has her shape back prior to birth or shall we say, “the hatch”.
Benefit #9: The male Robin helps take care of the little ones. What I would have given if my husband and I could have taken turns nursing our daughter. I may have had ten more. Maybe not ten more, but I would have been better rested.
Benefit #10: The babies leave the nest in two weeks. Eighteen years of child rearing condensed into two weeks of constant care in the nest and then everyone moves on. Sounds pretty easy.
While there are certainly many benefits to a male Robin being the perfect “baby daddy”, there are also a few negatives. Only 25% of the Robins will survive mating season into November. Of that, another half will make it to the following year. After the male Robins mate, that thick black plumage does eventually fall out. And those babies, they really never leave the nest often following the parents around while constantly begging for food. And let’s face it, I really don’t think I could live on worms, bugs and berries. Even if it is all you can eat. With that said, I think I’ve got it pretty good with my current baby daddy and my brood of one. Bye, bye birdies. Until next spring…