Lately, I can’t get enough potatoes.
If the spuds are mashed, shredded, fried, baked, scalloped or boiled…bring them on!
As a matter of fact, I’m spending a lot of time in my pantry contemplating life over a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips. Ahhh, to be Mrs. Arthur Treacher.
I find potatoes are an especially odd craving. Perhaps my body is low in potassium. Upon deeper reflection, maybe my body was trying to tell me something when I suffered that crippling ass cramp while stretching in my last fitness class.
After all, the once-a-month chocolate cravings have subsided for this menopausal woman. Maybe potato cravings are natural as women age. Apparently sweet potatoes help eliminate hot flashes and what middle-aged woman doesn’t need a little vitamin A to slow down vision loss so she can get a little more wear out of those rhinestone readers she just got on sale at Steinmart.
I’m a regular Mrs. Potato Head, literally.
When you think about it, she’s the perfect poster gal for middle-aged women.
Who wants to be Barbie at age 50?
Look at the way Mrs. Potato Head rocks her body.
How convenient to have holes in the top of my head that perfectly secure my glasses? I don’t know how many times I circle the house screaming, “Has anyone seen my glasses?” and they are right on top of my head.
No need for an eye lift or lip injections to perk up my face. When I get up in the morning, I’ll just choose a look and pop it in. No more bursitis in my shoulder from hauling that over-stuffed Kate Spade hand bag around town.
Mrs. Potato Head’s arms are conveniently bent for sporting that cute little red plastic number.
Mrs. Potato Head is literally equipped to hold junk in her trunk.
No more worries that my ass is too round or too wide. Mrs. Potato Head is literally equipped to hold junk in her trunk.
And the best part about being Mrs. Potato Head, no panic about not being able to zip up my pants over my menopot or if the underwire in my bra is sturdy enough to hold up my breasts that are now one with gravity.
All Mrs. Potato Head needs is a big smile and a great pair of shoes and she’s ready to take on the day.
I wonder what Mrs. Potato Head craves?
Probably a waist. You always want what you don’t have. Even a middle-age gal that’s as perfect as Mrs. Potato Head.
A waist! That made me scream. And the junk in her literal trunk…loved it, this is one of my faves of yours. Great writing
If only it weren’t true…
Another clever and brilliant observation! By the way – My Mrs. Potato Head Halloween Costume in ’83 has proved to be my all time fave!
Your Mrs. Potato Head costume is one of my all-time faves too! Genius.
Anne, Did you leave that costume at Denny’s! One of those pictures would have fit perfectly with this hilarious writing! Yeah Spuds!
Best use of a dorm brown paper trash bag ever. The photo would have been perfect.
Jeanette – I wish I had a photo of that costume. I think the potato part was actually intact throughout the night – but my “parts” weren’t!
I bet Mrs. Potato Head is totally satisfied to be waistless. She craves… butter.
I can see where her skin would dry up without it.
Fine, sensible shoes too
Maybe they would consider a Mrs. Potato Head Ugg.
Have you seen Mrs Potato Head in all the Toy Story movies, she was hilarious (Mr Potato Head wasn’t bad either). I love it when she stuffs her husband’s angry eyes in his trunk, just in case… (that’s in the bloopers at the end of Toy Story 2, I think).
I don’t know if I envy you with your potato cravings. I’ve never been crazy about potatoes, except in fries format, and even then, they have to be nice and crispy. I just don’t want to hear I may lose my chocolate cravings when I go through menopause.
It’s a mystery. I’ve never been a potato person either. Every person is different. You say cocoa, I say startch…I’ve seen parts of the movies and they are really funny.
Here are the bloopers from Toy Story 2, by the way. The funniest part of the movie and it was a very funny movie!
This is hilarious! I don’t remember seeing these. Thank you for posting!
You’re welcome. It’s at the very end of Toy Story 2, after the credits start.
Love the junk in the trunk–what a hoot! I think it’s definitely some sort of hormonal craving. I knew I was pregnant with my youngest when I asked my husband to get me a bag of potato chips – which I never, ever wanted before. As soon as the words left my mouth I knew and I asked him to get a pregnancy test with the chips. Now I worry every time I look at a baked potato with longing.
This craving would definitely be nothing more than a food baby.
“Mrs. Potato Head craves a waist.” Love it! I think she also craves Mr. Potato Head.
Great writing, Terri!
Yes, I prefer my Mr. Potato Head without the pipe and mustache.
Oh my God–it’s like you’ve peered into the holes in my own head! I am SO craving potatoes these days. And it’s double torture because I’ve been on a low-carb diet for a freaking month. I broke down on Sunday and bought a bag of salt and pepper kettle chips at the store, and I wolfed down about ten before I left the parking lot. I tossed the rest of the bag into the far back of the van, where I can’t reach them. They sing to me on the drive home from work.
Maybe we need to start a Potatoes Anonymous group?
Thanks for the belly laugh.
Everyone I know is on a low carb diet now. Funny potato chip story. I hear ya on the Road food. Yes, we need a Potatoes Anonymous group!
Potatoes were always my answer when people would ask things like, “if you could only eat one thing the rest of your life, what would it be?”
I like on toy story when mrs. potato head was putting everything in mr’s back and she puts the wind-up teeth in there and goes, “Be careful, they chatter!”
I’ve got to watch Toy Story again as I don’t ever think I’ve seen it straight through. Yes, that’s a great line. I love “George’s mother” as the voice.
Craving potatoes I can identify with that and I am well past that memo stuff. I’ve never lost my chocolate craving in my 70 some years. By the way ever read” Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Me” great read a few hundred years ago.
I have not read that – I’ll have to look it up.
Hilarious!! Love your writing. I’m still stuck on “menopot”. Thanks for giving me a word for it!
Thank you! Nice to know my menopot is good for something.